The Magic If

My original idea for this experiment was changed when I happened upon a wedding outside one of my local churches. When I saw this picturesque scene of pure joy, I knew it would be the perfect fit for this exercise.

As I sat across from them on the wall opposite the church, I felt sick to my stomach. The bride was laughing and smiling as she planted kisses on her new husbands cheek. Everyone was standing there throwing white and pink confetti over them squealing with delight. She looked beautiful; how awful, how untruthful. Marriage is not beautiful, it is a way of caging strong women, tying them to a man so they can not express themselves in the way in which they desire. All I wanted to do in that moment was rush over to this poor woman and pull her away. I would take her to safety, away from a life of conformity and boring rules. To a place where she could be free, where she wasn't pressured by stupid aunts to have children and a place where boring men, who could never understand her needs, stuck to their books instead of pursuing women.

But I didn't. I just sat her on the wall, watching. They ran down the church steps, clutching each others hands, so happy, so assured that this person could fulfil them for the rest of their lives. Is that possible? To love someone in that way? Perhaps not every man is as oblivious as George and maybe some women aren't as bored as me. How lovely. How alien. Could there be a man out there for me, who could truly understand me and make me happy? Perhaps.

I walked over to the church steps after the wedding party had dispersed. I stared down at the confetti on the floor; little hearts blowing in the wind. And it was in this moment I knew that no man could ever make me happy, because no man could ever understand how much I hate the idea of marriage. So I kicked the confetti behind me with my boot and walked home, back to my cage.

Experiencing the situations and emotional journey your character would, allows you to go deeper . into their world, giving you a unique understanding of their thought process. I believe the proof in its effectiveness is the fact that I knew this situation was perfect for my character. I was able to identify something that my own brain would disregard. This depth of character understanding is not yet complete and I need to look for more opportunities to tap back into my characters internal and external thoughts.